Friday 13th, 2019
It's ironic the timing of things sometimes. It tends to always work out, whatever it is you worry about comes together maybe just in a different way. Today I was downstairs at my house stretching because now my knee wanted to act up; it just never ends haha. But anyway, looking in the mirror and wearing some LL bean slippahs, shorts, and a champion hoodie simply because it's the best for this almost fall season, thinking this is a scary sight. My body's creaking as I stretch, even in comfortable clothes, which feels good after a few hours in the woods, only to be home now working in a different sense. I struggle thinking that when I'm doing one of type of work, I should be doing more of the other. It keeps going back and forth, but I remember what I’m doing is fun because I choose to do them. Cutting 8-10 ft tall invasive grass in the marsh land, that’s kinda like walking through a thigh deep snow that’s also prickly, completely covers you overhead with each pass of the trimmer, then makes you sneeze like heck? Haha but yes, I enjoy it. Because a year ago I was telling myself I wasn’t enjoying things, well just not as much as I thought I should. Because I wanted to be outside, coaching soccer and taking photographs more. Just doing different things I valued, enjoyed and brought joy and I wanted to find some more creativity with them that was unique to me. I was doing all this a year ago, but was also continuing the battle of what should I do next vs why did I just do that. Struggling to find more time in the “this is what I’m doing now”, but slowing learning to come back to that middle point more often. They all go together because we eventually find a reason why, sometimes we have to tell ourselves that to believe it, which is neither right or wrong, that doesn’t really matter. What matters is coming to a place to remember you’re still moving forward and that is balance. A year ago, I remembered back on random times of my life that were both extremes, the highs and lows. A year ago, I got this tattoo
after having doodled so many different designs, finally I created one that felt unique to my balance and how most of my awareness and presentness came from Tuckerman. I mean that’s what dogs do best is live in the moment. Even today I left to go to Photo Market and Tuckerman snuck outside prancing around to the truck. I tried to get him to come back in, but could tell he wanted to go, didn’t even care it was a 5 min round trip ride. I caved and after, went to the field to run around for a few minutes. Even then he wanted to hang in the shade before getting in the truck. I laughed because I realized why in the heck was I even trying to rush? Yes, I have things to do and I will get to them, but why not right now just lay in the grass. So we did. The presentness was all he cared about, and maybe the shade because hes getting old and panting after a few good chases.
So, Interestingly enough, when I adopted Tuckerman it was a full moon (which was part of the random symbolic reason I had my tattoo appointment on a new moon) but, I literally googled it again today for fun and found out it was Friday the 13th. Which was also the last time we had a full moon on a Friday the 13th, and it won’t happen again until Aug 13, 2049.
Now that is kind of wild…I would not have even had the mind to think of looking again it if we didn’t go out together today and sit in the moment and get away for a minute. I also wanted to post something like this on Monday, actually a year since mytattoo, but wasn’t sure I wanted to even though I took a photo. It wasn’t until today, that I decided to sit down on the couch and work in a comfortable place and write something more. Say what you want about the day, and as Michael Scott goes: I'm not superstitious, I'm a little stitious.... but mostly I feel incredibly lucky that this guy Tuckerman continues to show me to sit and enjoy the moment.
Even when sometimes he's so stubborn and I cant even get him to sit for a treat. So yeah I guess I’d say I think it’s a bit ironic that my biggest struggle is his easiest task. That doesn’t yet make it being my easiest task, but slowly just try and listen more and keep putting in what I can for that moment. Not more, because I think I need to do more, I know I need to do more, but less so I can just enjoy this time for a second more than worrying what is next. This tattoo to me is my small symbolic reminder of the things that have in some way brought or continue to bring value to the present moments of my life.
Happy weekend yall.