Things have been busy in a good way.
Last weekend I randomly went on a limb and attended a meditation workshop that I found through the grapevine, and long story shot it was pretty awesome. I could dive into the details of it, but right now im just going to touch on the first thing that was asked of us. It was what did we expect to gain from this weekend? I thought well maybe ill gain more mindfullness, or some new perspectives on something, I at least thought I had an idea of what was going to happen but then the instructor says to "let go of all expectations and just be here in the moment because expectations get in the way of what's happening now." So I did.
With that, I've been trying to get on a good routine, one I expected it to just happen, but new habits are hard to form and its been easy to let it slide. You know the routine, the one where you get up with enough time in the morning to exercise and stuff, not just run out the door to work. We all know the snoozing drill, some days its a 6am alarm with a 6:40 crawl out of bed because it was seemingly easier just to sleep. Some days its 5:30 am, wake up and get going with at least a foam roll or something, so far its been a bit of both for me.
It's taken me a while to simply look at this process differently and fostering a puppy has helped that.
See the thing is, is its harder to say, oh man I actually got up and did X twice this week, good work! vs man, I can't believe I didn't get up again, what's the mattahwitchu?! It's a subtle difference, but trying to intentionally focus on the small things that are going well right now and paying attention to the progress instead of the expected results, seems to slowly build upon each other.
This is where the puppy comes in. The first week (before this workshop) I would wake up, take her out and likely fall back asleep or push it to 5:45, 6:00 before getting her up. Basically using that "ish" as an excuse for 5 more minutes becasue I was trying, but knew I wasn't giving it my all. I figured a puppy would instantly change your mentality. I expected to wake up even earlier than she needed, work out, make breakfast do all that stuff In short it does, but it takes time to rewire the process we go through on a daily basis.
The week following the workshop with Asia and Tuckerman, I was more aware of the progress I had made on my own schedule. I gave up expectations of how I should feel and just did what was need for Asia and her puppy bladder. With that I got up, went of a few walks, ran a couple days, caught some sweet early morning sunrises which I have yet to see this year because well you have to get up to see them. They are little things but that started to get me to enjoy a little bit of the routine and it stemmed from simply being on a schedule for the puppy while just being present with whats going on.
This all started because I have been looking to adopt another dog and someday grow our pack. I wasn’t exactly sure where to start, and Aisa happened to need a home so I sent it and said yes (ps always send it). Not ever having a puppy or a foster I wasn’t sure what do expect or do for that matter. Though, I quickly learned she required me to pay more attention because in a split second she could be in the other room grabbing a sock, sticking her head in a shoe or pulling Tuckermans blanket across the room. I had to understand that she didnt know sit from running around the room at full speed. She had to be taught the basics and the only way to work on that was to be attentive to when we was doing those things well and reward her positively. Well thats way easier said than done because puppy brain is a thing and puppies, even more so than adult dogs, only know whats happening at that exact moment. To her grabbing a shoe and me saying "no" is a game, not a command becaue in her mind she got my attention for something. Quickly she had me enjoying these challenges because it made me look positively at the situtations and made me think of new ways to teach her the things that make no sense to her now, but that she should know someday.
Well, yesterday, little Asia went to her new foster to adopt home. It honestly it already feels weird, she was here for two weeks but her energy was so fun to have around because it got me and Tuckerman to spend more time playing, training, teaching and living in the moment together. That felt good. I want to adopt another dog, and she was amazing and probably would fit for us, but the timing was just a little off. Things happen for a reason and in a couple short weeks she has helped instill that idea to give up the expectations, but focus on the little momentary achievements that help lead us to our bigger goals.